The New Way to Separate
What sort of separation do you want to have?
If you are going through a marriage or relationship breakup, have you thought about the type of separation you want to have?
Do you want it to be bitter and acrimonious? A battle of wills, in which both parties conduct a long and expensive battle through the courts, in an effort to put the other party down and win at all costs?
Almost nobody does. So why does this so frequently occur?
It is the Old Way to Separate. We have an adversarial family law system. If people are feeling angry, fearful or resentful, there are plenty of people who will assist and support them in those feelings. Well-meaning family and friends advise them to get in early and look after their own interests. Many family lawyers by nature and training are very willing to facilitate a party pursuing an aggressive, egotistical pathway, with a promise of wealth and success at the end.
It rarely works. It usually comes at a high personal and financial cost.
There is a New Way to Separate.
It starts with an acceptance that the marriage or relationship has come to an end. Unfortunately, about 40% to 50% of marriages and long-term relationships are going to end in separation. It is rarely worthwhile to pursue issues of fault, blame and bad behaviour. Usually, it is expensive and counterproductive.
It also involves an acceptance that there are difficult issues which now need to be resolved. They involve issues of property division and financial support, as well as parenting arrangements. These issues need to be resolved by agreement. It is best for everyone to do so as quickly, effectively and inexpensively as possible. Find out what are your legal entitlements. Then come to an agreement in accordance with those entitlements. Then enter into final and binding orders and agreements to conclude those issues.
So how do you do this?
I suggest the best way is to follow a good dispute resolution system. There are usually 9 basic steps which fall into three phases in resolving serious disputes.
Preparation phase
Engagement phase; and finally the
Resolution phase
You can download my Free eBook “Lawfully Uncoupling - 9 Steps to a Successful Separation” and see how you can have a positive, successful and cost-effective separation experience.
The two other secret ingredients are:
Engage a good family lawyer to assist you. This is likely to protect your interests and save you a lot of time and money in the end. But I suggest one who is willing to assist and support you in coming to your own separation agreement. Not take over and dominate the proceedings more than is necessary. Rather, work cooperatively with you and assist and empower you to come to your own agreement.
Do the necessary preparation and put the facts, figures and issues on the table. Prepare the initial documents which will set up the resolution process. Engage with the other party and try to establish a cooperative and transparent negotiation process. Then conclude an agreement and have the lawyer assist you in drawing the Consent Orders and other documents and have them entered on the court portal and obtain final and binding agreements.
This is called a Smart Separation. It is the way to obtain the best possible results and enables you to come through the process with a sense of achievement and be able to move on with the next chapter of your life.
Interested to know if Modern Divorce Solutions is right for you?
Or if you are ready to get started,
We would be delighted to help you.
