World Suicide Prevention Day
Sunday 10 September is "World Suicide Prevention Day," and a day that allows me to remember my late son, while heartbreaking, underscores the importance of reaching out for help when needed.
I was a father to two wonderful children. My son appeared to be doing well until he faced a difficult job loss and subsequently vanished to London for two years. Then, in May 2018, we received the worst phone call a parent can imagine – he had taken his own life at the age of 28.
We were blindsided by this tragedy. We hadn’t imagined it as a possibility.
It wasn't a divorce or separation, but it was a crisis similar to the emotional turmoil experienced during such life-altering events.
In the aftermath, I began a journey of understanding and seeking answers. I became acutely aware of the profound impact of unaddressed trauma on people's mental health, crime rates, and tragically, instances of suicide within our society. The trauma that I personally felt as a result of losing my son is one of the key reasons why I wanted to offer Aussies an alternative to a traditional separation that is lead by ego and spite.
While it may seem an unconventional topic for my "Lawfully Uncoupling” blog, it's crucial to address the emotional turbulence that can accompany the dissolution of a relationship. The truth is that the process can be so emotionally taxing that it leads some to question their very existence.
Divorce and separation are seismic events in people's lives, often bringing emotional upheaval that demands careful self-care and support. It's essential to ensure that the path to resolution doesn't transform into a complex legal nightmare, which jeopardises the well-being and future prospects of the participants.
Everyone involved in the family law process must tread cautiously, fully aware of the potential risks and strains faced by individuals undergoing separations. The Family Court acknowledges this, offering the DOORS triage and screening project to help those grappling with personal crises within court proceedings. However, this is only available to those who participate in court proceedings and court should be seen as a last resort, and every effort should be made to resolve issues outside the court process if you possibly can.
My son’s suicide taught me the unpredictability of people's vulnerability. You just don’t know.
It's a lesson I believe everyone involved in the family law system, especially family lawyers, should heed. Be very careful. Make sure you reach out and ask. Not just for your client but for everyone involved.
I can no longer engage in the usual cycle of angry, passive-aggressive family law disputes. Instead, I'm committed to a process where individuals treat each other with courtesy, respect, and cooperation, working towards a mutually equitable resolution. This is non-negotiable for me.
For those who doubt the possibility of cooperative dispute resolution, fearing the other party's non-participation will lead to an inferior outcome, I want to assure you that this is not the case. By approaching the process with fairness and cooperation, you encourage the same from the other party. Conversely, anger and aggression seldom lead to better results. The overall result for the people involved is so much more positive.
I extend my heartfelt thoughts to those embarking on the challenging journey of separation.
If you, or anyone you know is struggling, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
