Can I Live With My Ex During Our Separation?
Navigating the complexities of a separation demands careful consideration and planning. One pivotal aspect that often arises is the question of where to live during this challenging period. Should you remain cohabiting in the same space with your former partner, possibly to save money, or is it better to find separate living arrangements?
With the current cost of living crisis, rising interest rates and housing shortages, many Australians are now choosing to continue living with their former partners long after they’ve split to save money.
Here’s what you can do to help make it work:
Formalise the arrangement in writing: specify the terms under which you'll cohabit during this transitional phase - including splitting bills and ownership of shared household items.
Set clear boundaries: especially around dating and having friends over.
Tell the children together: Reassure them that the separation is between the parents and that they are not responsible
Divvy up your home: establish the “common areas” vs “personal areas”.
Set up a roster: yes, for those pesky household chores, co-parenting, and walking/looking after furbabies.
Have separate finances and back accounts: you may not have physical separation, but you can separate financially.
Don’t bring home a date: avoid complications or fuelling emotional turmoil and go to the other person’s place instead.
Remember that, should divorce be in your future, demonstrating a period of living apart for 12 months will be a requirement. Some or all of this time may occur while living separated under the same roof but you will need to support your divorce with an affidavit to prove:
Division of finances
Change in sleeping arrangements
Reduction in shared activities/outings
Decline in performing household duties for each other
If children are involved - changes in childcare arrangements (where applicable)
Notification to family/friends of your separation
If you're facing pressure to vacate the shared space, it's worthwhile to weigh the benefits of this decision carefully. While leaving behind your home, children, pets, and the familiar lifestyle can be emotionally taxing, it might also be the pragmatic choice that sets the tone for a more amicable separation. Such an act can demonstrate kindness and pave the way for reciprocal cooperation.
Initiating your separation in a composed, rational, and cooperative manner often sets the tone for its conclusion. By fostering an atmosphere of reasonableness and cooperation, you're more likely to arrive at a mutually satisfactory resolution.
Early on in this journey, seeking out reliable assistance and support is a prudent move. If you are feeling unsure of what your next move should be or how to navigate the intricacies of separation with a sense of empowerment, please download my free ebook to learn more about our “Lawfully Uncoupling Program”.
